Does the Charles Mill Lake Monster Exist?

The beast from the blackest of lagoons, rising in the trembling darkness with furious indignity, clawing at the fear etched into the very souls of the terrified youths fearing for their very lives, a beast, A BEAST, there, before their very eyes, something so unusual, so bizarre, so unlike anything else. This is Ohio. The …

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If All the Presidents of America Were Engaged in a Royal Rumble, Who Would Be the Last One Standing?

If I don’t get a single like for this, I swear to God, I am going to riot. We are talking about, I sugar you not, around five hours’ worth of research and Excel spreadsheets and historical archive digging and complicated mathematical formulas and I swear down, I have lost the bloody plot… I AM …

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What Superpower Would You Acquire from Your Last Meal?

I mean, does ‘toast’ count as a meal? Any of the regular occasions in a day when a reasonably large amount of food is eaten. Ah. So… a better question is… could ‘toast’ be considered a reasonably large amount of food because it’s certainly bigger than a snack but arguably smaller than a meal. I …

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In the Spotlight: 43 – The Community of Madrid

Founded in 1983. Where you’ll find the largest royal palace in Europe, with 3,418 rooms, although it no longer serves as the royal palace. WAY too much dusting. This community is the birthplace of Enrique Iglesias, Penelope Cruz, Plácido Domingo and Rafael Benítez. In 1936, the officials of the famous Prado Museum gave the title …

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How Would You Defeat the Grim Reaper?

I mean, in a way, giving in is a kind of defeat. As BOC once sung, don’t fear the reaper. Unless it’s a name of a chilli, then, most certainly, fear the reaper. But if you’re not fearing a chilli, then don’t fear the reaper, although why you’d be afraid of something you don’t have …

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Using Ingredients You Only Have at Home, How Would You Make a Sausage?

I mean, I do question the sanity of a world in which I simply couldn’t just go to the shops to buy a sausage and also, more importantly, at least to me, why a solitary sausage? I mean, first of all, that’s the new name of my autobiography, or possibly the sequel as I imagine …

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Did the Pollock Sisters Exist?

Hexham. A small town in England where, on May 5th, 1957, tragedy struck. Jacqueline and Joanna Pollock were walking to church one day when, suddenly, a car ran into them. The young girls never stood a chance. John and Florence, their parents, were absolutely devastated, losing their children in such a horrific incident but John …

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If You Could Name Your Genitals after a Video Game, What Would It Be and Why?

God help you if it’s Tetris. That poor woman. Here, she meets a nice, hunky guy in the bar and sure, I abhor the idea of one night stands but okay, she’s decided to take this lucky guy back to her place and boom, out pops this cubist wang. Which is a PHENOMENAL name for …

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Instead of Being Licenced to Kill, James Bond Is Now Licenced to Mildly Inconvenience – What Does He Do Now?

No offence to bird watchers, but there’s little I can imagine I’d like doing less. Even trainspotting piques my interest, but not bird watching, although I guess if there’s a bird ON the train, then that would count as bird watching, although how a bird bought a ticket is anyone’s guess right about now. But …

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In the Spotlight: 42 – Monaco

It declared independence in 1861. Where three James Bond movies have been filmed, often at the world-famous casino at this country’s heart. Because of how small this place is, there is no airport here, but there is a heliport, with a helicopter landing every 20 minutes. Other options to get here include train and yacht. …

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