What Woke You Up This Morning?
My brain. Usually does. At about 11, most days. It’s in for a shock when I get a job. ‘What?’ it’ll say. ‘There’s a five in the morning?’
Interestingly, and I use that word quite wrongly, I have blackout curtains but I don’t use them. The brain is woken up on the morning by natural light, but there’s less here in the northeast of England than at the bottom of the ocean. It’s summer! Oh, it’s raining. It rained a lot last summer. Not important. It was just – just really, really wet. Just thought you’d like to know. You didn’t want to know, did you? Well, you do now. Actually, our summer kicked off around September. For five days, it didn’t drop below 25. Ah, I miss those glam rock days.
I keep the curtains open and the blinds shut rather than close the curtains so my brain is woken naturally. Doesn’t work. Scientists are talking tosh. I mean, it probably does work if the sun is more than the equivalent of a 60 watt light bulb.
On other days, I am woken up by the mail boy (who I ignore), the screaming neighbour children, the telephone (which I usually unhook the night before), even my guitar falling over.
That nearly gave me a bloody heart attack, never mind waking me up.