What Was The First Word That You Spoke?
Oh my word. What is it with the baby range of questions lately? Nobody cares what I was like as a baby. Nobody cares about what I’m like now. Nobody cares. Sniff. Please care. I don’t smell. Oh wait, I actually do. Oh, that’s fine then. Bye, bye. We’re out of milk. Get some on your way back.
Oh well. I’ll answer it. It’s what I’m contracted to do. Answer yet another pointless question. The next question oughta not be pointless. What is the next question? Oh. What about the one after? Ooh, a deep one. I like deep. Deep, deep, deep. I’m wasting your time, aren’t I? Good. Deepy, deepy, deepy. Ever so deepy. It’s fun to say. Deepy. I think it’s a depressed tepee. Not sad, just collapsed. Probably one I made. The last thing I made set the kitchen on fire. And very nearly my face.
I don’t know what my first word was. Nobody does. Most people’s parents are like ‘it was either’ and so forth. And I guarantee that every parent says something like ‘it was mummy or daddy’. The reason for that is that even they don’t know. Not important. I’d be more worried if there was never a first word.
‘So what was little Ally’s first word 18 years ago?’ ‘Oh, we’re still waiting. But I’ve got a good feeling about tomorrow’.
So readers, do you know your first word?
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