What’s The Furthest You’ve Ever Walked?
Do you mean furthest, Mr. Question Man, or do you actually mean farthest? Because they’re two entirely different things. Referring to my vast knowledge bank (my brain), also known affectionately as Google (no relation to the search engine), furthest is almost always wrong. You’re not allowed to use it exclusively, although I’ve love to see this ‘they’, this fictional Grammar Police, come and beat me with clubs until I stop using it. I think I’d win the fight. I’d run further from them than they can possibly imagine. Just to piss them off. ‘I’m running further’, I’d shout. ‘It’s farther, you idiot – kill him boys!’ This is what single people think about.
Farthest is correct. Furthest is ‘to a greater degree’ or another non-distance quantity, whereas ‘farthest’ means ‘to a greater physical distance’. I’ve should’ve corrected the question rather than moan about it, but then I realized that if I’d written ‘farthest’ it would only be a sentence and a sentence long micro-blog has already been patented as a piece of nonsensical gibberish called Twitter.
Was that correct? I wrote written in that last paragraph. Or is it wrote? What is the past tense of write? Wrote or written? I always say written but it doesn’t sound write. Or right. Hang on. Write or right? Or it is righted? Or is write one of these words without a past tense like Madonna? Ah. I’m being silly. Past tense is ‘wrote’; ‘written’ is the past participle. That’s a completed action. You’ve only written once it’s written. Whilst you’re writing, it’s wrote. I think. What was I talking about? Ah, yes. The furthest I’ve ever walked. Or it is farthest?
Four and a half miles. From college. Almost every day in summer. In 30 degree Celsius heat. Oh yes, I’m quite the athlete. Not really, it damn near killed me. Should’ve got the bus. Walking is a bad idea. I like promoting that message.
It’s why I’m such a good role model.
So, readers, what’s the farthest you’ve ever walked?
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