Good knitting skills. I like a good knitter. Knitter. What an odd word. It comes from an Old Norse word meaning ‘to bind together’. That’s not very interesting, is it? What about the word ‘Gerrymander’? It was an insult hurled at Massachusetts governor Elbridge Gerry by a newspaperman. Gerry had redrawn the electoral districts and made one look like a salamander. And the word ‘criddle’ is a fantastic non-swear curse to use when you’ve hurt yourself that I coined. And many years later, it first appeared in the Urban Dictionary under a completely different meaning. The Wikipedia of Dictionaries.
I’ve never had a romantic partner, although you can’t have unromantic partner. I mean, you can have a relationship that goes down the forakers (Google won’t get you anywhere with that one). Then it’s unromantic. Or you can’t try very hard and then it becomes not very romantic. But from day one? Surely, that’s one understanding girl. “Do you want to have a romantic meal? Go to see a movie? Candlelit conversation? Walk on the beach?” she asks. “ you”, comes the response. I have no understanding of relationships.
I’ve never had a girlfriend. I say that a lot then people stare and ask ‘how old are you?’ and then I say ‘21’ and they’re like ‘no way! Good joke’. Sigh. I don’t understand relationships. They seem slightly illogical. I try to do everything for a reason. Is ‘happiness’ a good enough reason? I don’t know. Perhaps it’s the only reason. You get to my age without ever having someone like that in your life, you think deeply about it and it makes things harder.
So no, I’ve never really thought about what I’d like in a girlfriend. Pushed into a corner, I’d say honesty was important. Integrity. Reliability. A friend. A good talker because I don’t say a lot. Just someone to be with. Blind. Someone who doesn’t blow all your cash.
Interested? Anyone? Please? No?
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