Caught? No. Ahem.
The problem with me, is that I’m too clever to steal and yet too thick to get away with it. I confused myself there, so don’t worry, you’re not alone. I don’t get stealing. Unless it’s bread to feed your starving family, but this isn’t the 1700s and there are centres now where you can get food for free. You can’t get away with bread stealing and you can’t say that you didn’t know the centres existed. Or that their seats aren’t comfortable enough. They’re the excuses of a kleptomaniac. Stealing is wrong. Stay in school.
Of course, I’m sure the word hypocrite is jumping out from the sea of voices reading this. Sea? No. This site isn’t that big. I’ll scale it down. Pond. Yes. The pond of voices. Puddle, perchance? No, I’ll stick with pond. A small one. With fish. Eh? I have to stop being coy around the question. Nothing? Not even a pity laugh? Come on, coy – get it? Ah, suit yourself.
I’m not a hypocrite. I’ve never stolen anything. I do have a No Smoking sign, although I forget where I got it from but I know I didn’t buy it. So no, I’ve never stolen and therefore I have never been caught.
Have you ever been caught stealing, readers?
(I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. To do so, you can leave a comment by pressing the bubble on the top right of this post and scroll to the bottom of the new page to where it says ‘leave a reply’. Likes and follows greatly appreciated. Thanks)