Shoes. Things you wear on your feet. I thought it best I give my definition of shoes since, as we found out last time, Oxford aren’t great at definitions. Although I’m sure you’re all dying to know what stupid definition Oxford has of shoes, since its definition of music is so incredibly crap. Probably something to do with ducks. May as well be.
‘A covering for the foot, typically made of leather, having a sturdy sole and not reaching above the ankle’. A covering? What? Covering? Hmm. Okay. When I hear the word ‘covering’, I often think of a tent in the garden. But it doesn’t just cover; it goes around the whole foot. Why isn’t a glove a covering? Seriously, who writes Oxford’s dictionaries?
Anyway, shoes. The thing everyone has several of. Can you see where this is going? I only have one. Pairs of shoes, that is. Not – not, one shoe. I don’t hop to the shops. Although that would be funny. But yes, I have one pair of shoes.
My thinking with clothing, which I suppose you could call shoes, it one of functionality. If it does a job, it’s doing that job until it gives up the ghost. I buy jackets, shirts and trousers to cover myself, and it’s the same with shoes. That’s the only reason for me. Shoes are there to protect ones feet. Why do I need two pairs? It’s like having two cars, one for Sunday and one for the rest of the week. I’ve never really understood shoe etiquette.
So my answer is one. Pair, that is.
How many pairs of shoes do you own, readers?
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