Huh? Oh, heck. Well, it’s a different type of question. If I had a favourite bird, it would also be an interesting question. If I could identify different types of bird, it would be a really interesting question. If I knew about different types of bird, it would be a ridiculously interesting question. Shucks, if I knew anything about birds it would be – whatever the next step up from ridiculously interesting is. But I’m not exactly endowed with this knowledge.
I’m not a lover of birds, nor am I a fighter of birds because that’s highly illegal. Come to think of it, being a lover of birds is probably also highly illegal. Being a lover of anything you can’t ‘love’ is probably illegal. Train lover springs to mind. We should just stop using the word ‘lover’. ‘Like’ will suffice. Or ‘greatly like’. I don’t like birds. There. Simples.
My main beef with birds is their incessant noises at super ridiculously early hours of every morning. Especially seagulls, birds I especially hate because they often fly nowhere near any sea. Like over my house, for example. Really loud twits, the lot of them. They’re also thieves of food, attackers of the face, and defecators of death.
If God has angels, the devil has birds.
Do you have a favourite bird, readers?
(I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. To do so, you can leave a comment by pressing the bubble on the top right of this post and scroll to the bottom of the new page to where it says ‘leave a reply’. Likes and follows greatly appreciated. Thanks)