Oh well, I want to spare my blushes, but since you asked, I feel I must answer. There was a cabinet last week, a modernist piece finished in 100-year-old oak, and a similar sort of theme was applied to the guitar I finished last week, too. Well, I didn’t want to do too much at once, so I restricted myself just to the guitar and the cabinet. Although I will admit to dabbling with a shelf unit. Oh yes, I’m quite the craftsman.
I’m a very modern man in a very knackered old shell. The sum total of my building experience is severely limited by my lazy modernity that has spread around the male of the human genus in recent years like butter over a frozen river.
Most of my building is of the flat-pack variety. Tables, desks, chairs, erm – more tables. An inordinate amount of tables. Handles, too. Many handles. They do make you put on the handles and I can’t help but wonder why. Easier to pack? Hmm. It’s just a huge inconvenience. All rather simply wrapped up in a huge simple lie. ‘All you must do is apply the handles’. Oh jeez, thanks. You’re there for weeks trying to pry open the draws. You start to go crazy and conjure some kind of magnet and pulley system.
I’m not fond of flat-packs. I should probably read the instructions rather than shred them and do an Irish jig on their mangled remains. It’s something I wish I hadn’t done with the last bit of building I did, which was, unsurprisingly, a table. A laptop table. Which I believe defeats the purpose of calling it a laptop. It’s not atop the lap but atop the table. A tabtop table. What a pleasant image I’m painting, huh?
It’s a stupid invention, and that’s before I mention the fact that my first attempt at building it resulted in me taking it back for a new one after the glass top shattered in my hands. But I was brave and manly. Despite the sheer, unrelenting agony and pain, I didn’t cry.
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