Tony Blair. Hah.
I’m not keen on vegetables, and I’m sure if they were sentient, they wouldn’t be that keen on me either. It’s all this healthy junk. What is the point in it? Sure, they make you live longer, make you happier, make you more capable, they keep your brain active, make you more attractive by removing hideous ailments, they – actually, why don’t I eat vegetables? Probably because they’re forced down our throats. I need to rebel against something and rebelling against rising bus prices hardly does the anarchist cause any good.
But think about it. Most supermarket salads contain preservatives and additives. Artichoke spinach dip contains thousands of calories. Fat-free yoghurt is a lie and does actually contain fat. Parfait contains calories, fat and sugar. Low-fat muffins have merely had their fat replaced with sugar. Canned soup contains sodium. Veggie pizza is 90% cheese. Spinach pasta contains no spinach. Similarly, wheat bread contains no wheat. A fruit cocktail, fruit juice or any fruit drink, is mostly sugar. Baked beans are extremely high in sodium, sugar and additives. All protein bars, unless organic, have 90% processed ingredients. Sports drinks are just flavoured water. Rice cakes contain no nutrition. Granola bars are extremely high in sugar. Protein shakes are highly processed and high in sugar. Croutons are not nutritional. Fruit snacks are simply ridiculous. Margarine is unhealthier than butter. All this has been proven. Honestly. Healthy food is all a lie, people!
Of course, being healthy and fit is a good thing and you should all do it properly. Not any of this crap the supermarkets are giving us, but proper food. It’s a message that’s more, ‘Do as I say, not as I do’. Because of that, I don’t have a favourite vegetable. But it leaves me in a predicament, as I must give an answer to this question. Okey-doke.
The Friday Bonus Question:
Plucked from the basement of the internet, a bewildering real question that defies logic and an answer, here for you to ponder:
What’s the worst thing that can happen if I lick a tree?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You can leave a comment and/or like this post below, or by clicking the little bubble on the top right if you are on the Archives Page. Likes and follows greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other two blogs:
The Indelible Life of Me
A Gravy Tain of Arsenic and Bread
Pray For Mojo