Ha, ha, ha, ha. Heh, heh. Oh, mercy. Ha! Tee, hee, hee. Oh, boy. I think I just LOLed out a lung. Me? A superhero? Have DC ran out of ideas by any chance? The likelihood of I becoming anything of any use to anyone is highly doubtful. In fact, I’m fairly confident such a thing would only happen if I were the star in a farce. Ha, ha, ha. Ridiculous notion.
I’m not the hero kind. I don’t run around saving cats from trees. Probably because I hate cats. And I’m not fond of trees. Or climbing. Or manual labour. Unless it’s logical. Which it isn’t in the circumstance of climbing a tree to save a cat because I don’t like cats, trees, or climbing. As we’ve already established. But I’m willing to forgo logic here because it’s so incredibly humorous.
I’d need a power or an ability. I wouldn’t go for something like flying because I get airsick and that would be unpleasant for the folk below. No, it would have to be something practical. Something, maybe, that could even be useful on myself. A practical ability. Something really cool that my children could be proud of. And that I could use on them. If they are ever born.
I would have the ability to alter sense. For example, if I was at one of these modern cinemas that are far too loud, I could turn down my hearing. Or if someone was shouting at me, I could put my ears on mute. If somebody was coming at me with a knife, I could shut down their eyes and pray they’re not lucky. Somebody in a restaurant being rude? No problem. I could alter their sense of taste to make them believe they’ve ate arsenic and they’ll leave pretty damn quickly. For the hospital. It would be funnier on the day. If somebody was sniffing flowers, I could mute their sense of smell. I don’t know how that would be useful, but it would be funny. I could even alter their smell to make the flowers, to them, smell of bacon. Mmm, bacon…
I could also get that cat down from the tree. I could blind it. Temporarily, of course. It wouldn’t know where it was going and it would fall. I heard they land on their feet.
I wouldn’t have much of a costume. Hawaiian themed shorts. Black boots. Vest. Shades. Bowler hat. Monocle. What? It’s a disguise. No one would believe I would wear that. And I need a name. But I hate superhero names that are lame or tell you what they do. It needs to be colourful and characterful. Something wonderful. I got one. My superhero name?
The Crimson Delight.
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Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other two blogs:
The Indelible Life of Me
The Sparky Shake of the Flowermuffin Gardener
Hark Around The Words