Presuming, of course, I didn’t choose burial or cremation. Which I will be doing. No, this question refers to an alternate existence, an existence whereby I choose to do something different with my body after death. Something useful. Well, a lifetime of uselessness, about time I considered the options. Something worthwhile.
Now, as a Roman Catholic, I actually value my body, especially after death. So I want nobody doing anything to it. No donations, none of the options below, nothing, at all, ever. Just put me in the ground and forget about me. It’s important to me that I’m left alone the way I died, it comforts me and I’m sure it’ll comfort my family. Nobody can change my mind on that. But, for the sake of answering the question, let’s consider the options.
I wouldn’t sell myself for parts. The money may come in handy for the family, but I’m a firm believer in making your own way in the world. “Son, I love you dearly, my death gift to you is my love for you and the knowledge I have bestowed upon you”. “What? I want a new phone!” You can see where I’m coming from. Similarly, I wouldn’t want anyone to eat me, especially my special areas. Medical research? No. The body is sacred. Nobody is going to be studying me. Not that I’m worth studying. For that reason, I’d rule out becoming a medical skeleton. And plastination is disgusting and most ungodly. And mummification falls under the same sort of thing for me. I could be a display at an art gallery. No, strangers staring at my special areas all the time. I wouldn’t like that. I have nightmares along those lines. Body farms for studying decomposition. Ew. Simple as that. I could be turned into clothing. No, I don’t like the thought of someone wearing me. I’ve never thought about it before, but I don’t like it. I could be put in a bullet and fired. No, guns are pure evil. Not my kind of thing. I could be used as a power source of some sort. But it wouldn’t last forever. A diamond. That’s pretty special. But I doubt I’ll ever have anyone in my life I could give something like that to. On the other end of the scale, I could be a crash test cadaver. Bit of a one trick pony.
I seriously considered opting for my ashes being mixed with combustible powder and used for a spectacular fireworks display. That would be so awesome. But, like I said earlier, it won’t last forever.
So I’d have my ashes turned into a pencil. It can be done. 20 pencils from one body, and the box they come in has a built in sharpener so it saves the shavings. It’s practical and it lasts. If I couldn’t choose burial, I’d be a pencil.
What would you do with your body after you die, readers?
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The Indelible Life of Me
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