No, not a fable. A place called Fore. Back in the old country. Ireland, of course. My grandma Mary was from Ireland, so referring to Ireland as ‘the old country’ is good enough for me. Fore Abbey has a supposed seven wonders, a list created by the locals. So it’s not highly scientific or unbiased. But it is interesting. To me. Maybe to you. Perhaps. Let’s see.
Saint Féchín founded the abbey circa 630. What? You’re here, you’re getting a history lesson. Stay put, this is about to get interesting. By the year 665, over 300 monks were living at the abbey. See. Okay, that wasn’t interesting. Sniff. I try my best, damn it. Sigh. And to think, I was about to tell you all about the Viking assault on the abbey and the colossal conflagration that ensued. But nope, not anymore. I’ll move on. Sniff.
All but one of these wonders is mystical, mythical and make-believe. Like my impotency. Just thought I’d mention that in case Alice is reading. Ahem. So, wonders of Fore.
We’ll start with the mill without a race. Nope, me neither. The monastery built upon the bog. Well, quite a feat of engineering. But it’s a ruin now. Ruined. The tree that has three branches and will not burn. Well, Ireland is quite cold. Probably why the tree won’t burn. And three branches? That’s not much of a tree. A bit of a crap tree, to be honest. It’s just a twig, basically. The anchorite in a cell – a religious dude in a jail. Oh, what a magnificent tourist attraction. Oh, my children would be so delighted if I took them to see that for their birthday. The water that doesn’t boil. Wow. Really intriguing. Just buy a kettle, surely? Or go and get some regular water. I don’t get that one. I mean – huh? The lintel-stone raised by St. Féchín’s prayers. Well, surely, if it’s been raised, then is just a lintel-stone. Erm, a stone? Oh, Lord help me. I have a stone. Several, in fact. It’s called a patio.
So I’ll say the water that flows uphill is my favourite wonder of Fore. That is quite interesting. How can water flow uphill? I mean, sure, it’s useless and has no real importance, and all it does is show that abbey as a mysterious, weird place, with mysterious, weird locals living nearby, who I’m sure are lovely, but it is interesting. So that’s why I’ll pick it.
The water that flows uphill. My favourite wonder of Fore.
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The Indelible Life of Me
Latest Post: The Loopy Light of the Goldfish Star
Hark Around The Words
Latest Post: Evite/Vermiform