Ah, the age-old debate. You’d think showering was an evolution of bathing, but actually, showering came first. Although the Ancient Greeks were at hand for the invention of both. Even more remarkable when you consider the word bath comes from the word bæð meaning ‘immersion in mud’. What were the Greeks thinking of? And to think, we call them intelligent. Yes, as you can see, I’m a shower man.
Let us consider the Greeks. They knew bathing was disgusting. They compared it to pigs rolling in filth. We’ve tried to civilize the experience with things like bath salts and hippy music, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re stewing in your own filth. It’s like washing your hands to clear off glitter, smearing yourself in glue, and going swimming in a swimming pool that, instead of being filled with water, is filled with glitter. Although that does sound fun. Glitter diving. Hmm…
And it gets worse. People eat in the bath. Before long, you’ll have a bosom full of BLT and a crotch crumb extravaganza. Your hair will be festooned with bits of sandwich. Because of this and all the bath salts, you’ll smell like a cross between an abattoir and a hippy love in.
And then there’s reading in the bath. It’s incredibly awkward trying desperately and in vein not to get your newspaper soaked. It always fails. You end up seeing bits of the text floating away in the water. Like The Day After Tomorrow after the tidal wave hits the library. And with the invention of e-readers, the issue has just got a whole lot more precarious. And don’t even get me started on these portable electronic games devices, especially the ones with styluses. If you drop of one those in a bath, God only knows where that’ll end up. Not to mention where and when it’ll eventually pop out.
Showers are healthier. Proven. They use less water. Proven. They’re healthier for cleaning your genitals if you’re a man, and if you’re a woman, I don’t know, use a flannel or something. There’s no fuss trying to organize the heat of the water. It’s impossible to ruin your newspaper or electronic device because it’s impossible to use said items. And your sandwich? Have you tried eating a sandwich in the shower? The only people who do that are men who’ve just broken up with their girlfriends.
For me then, it’s showers all the way.
The Friday Bonus Question:
Plucked from the basement of the internet, a bewildering real question that defies logic and an answer, here for you to ponder:
Should we nuke the Sun to prevent global warming?
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Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other two blogs:
The Indelible Life of Me
Hark Around The Words