I don’t know a lot about Southern England. I’d normally bombard you with highly interesting facts. Perhaps the fact that I’m struggling to find facts is in itself a fact, proving my hypothesis that Southern England isn’t very interesting. It’s home to a very rare bat. The home of The Isle of Wight, our largest island. I think. Never been there so I can’t tell you much about it. Ooh, and Edgmond, a town in the south, had the highest recorded temperature in the history of the UK. 101° Fahrenheit or 39° Celsius. Also, apparently, the south has seven man-made wonders as well. They’re okay, I suppose. Nothing special. Have I mentioned I’m from Northern England? No? Ah well, there it is, sunbeams.
Let’s start by throwing Chichester Cathedral off the table. My golden rule: don’t chose anywhere religious. It’s not fair on other religions. Plus, if I pick it and it’s Catholic, which it isn’t, it’ll be seen as favouritism, if I don’t pick it, it’ll be seen as attacking the Anglican Church. So, I can’t win. Just throw it off the table. Also, it has nothing on northern cathedrals. The New Forest confused me. It just goes to show how little I know about the south. I didn’t know it was man-made. It’s incredible. It’s very pretty but I must take everything into consideration. As we all know, all forms of hunting are wrong and sickening. And why was the New Forest created? As a home of the royal hunting of dear. It’s like saying, “And we, the judges, choose Garden D as our favourite garden, created by a serial killer who sprinkled the plants with the blood of his victims to aid growth – isn’t it charming?” Not really, no. Excuse me, I need to go and vomit. Violently. I’m not entirely sure how Wey Navigation made it onto this list. From what I can deduce, it’s a walk around a river. Huh? Did they run of wonders? Well, no bloody surprise there. Stonehenge. Surely, I’d pick that. Think again. We don’t even know it was man-made. Not to mention that’s not actually a henge. That’s an actual fact. And it’s not religious. As another fact tells us, it’s has nothing to do with the Druids. Onto Uffington White Horse. It’s just a horse sculpture. It doesn’t even look like much of a horse. Are you sure it’s a horse? Sorta looks like somebody ran over a cat. It’s as bad as the makers of Stonehenge calling it a henge when it isn’t a henge. Picking my favourite from the remaining two wonders is going to be difficult. I genuinely don’t have a good reason to rule out either. So I’ll rule out The University of Oxford. Why? Because I can, that’s why.
So, using my highly scientific method, I’ve narrowed it down to just one. Spitbank Fort. Chosen because Spitbank is a phenomenal name for a wonder. Oh yes, Rio de Janeiro has Christ the Redeemer. We have Spitbank. Take that, Rio. Spitbank Fort is literally a fort in the middle of the sea. It was built as a defence fort, now a hotel, but was once used as a function room for wedding receptions. That’s a great start to the marriage. “Hey, darling, let’s go and look at some turrets”. God forbid if she thinks that a euphemism.
Spitbank Fort. My favourite man-made wonder of Southern England.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You can leave a comment and/or like this post below, or by clicking the little bubble on the top right if you are on the Archives Page. Likes and follows greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other two blogs:
The Indelible Life of Me
Click Here For The Latest Post
Hark Around The Words
Click Here For The Latest Post