What Would You Do If You Woke Up And Everybody Was Naked?

Post 302

From underwear, to black holes, to naturism, I think when history looks back on this century of questions, from 300 to 399, it’ll be known at the Naughty 300s. The hippie phase. Unintentional nonchalant divergence. And so forth. But what would I do if I and the rest of humanity suddenly lost our clothes? Imagine walking down the high street and suddenly your long johns vanish into thin air. Some would argue that’s a good thing.

Of course, this question raises that most taboo of subjects: nudism. Or ‘naturism’ to the hippies, who make up 99% of all nudists on Earth. Here in the UK, it’s legal to be naked in a public place so long as somebody doesn’t take offence. 99% of the time, however, you would be arrested. Which is great, because the last thing I want to see when I’m shoe shopping is another man’s wang in my face. A word of warning if you are of this disposition and you’re thinking of a hike on one of Scotland’s many wonderful mountains. It is completely illegal in Scotland. But that’s probably because up there it’s always cold.

Naturists would argue it’s something we’d get used to. No. Not at all. Completely disagree. Shy nudists are not common. We don’t feel comfortable when we are wearing clothes. We never feel comfortable. Introversion is a condition that has no cure and the only people that think it does are people who aren’t in that situation. For me, being naked is hell. If the whole world turned naked, I’d never leave my room. I wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone, or see anyone. And I know for a fact that the world would be with me. The vast majority would never accept it. We’d find ways to cover ourselves up. Human beings are not meant to be naked, not nowadays. I feel freer when I’m clothed. I feel more capable. I feel like myself. Clothes enable me to function in the world. I don’t feel inhibited.

I know that humanity would fight it. And I’m with them. We’d reinvent clothes. Separate ourselves from the nudists. Live the way we want. The nudists can do what they want, but they’d have no right to try to convert the rest of us. If I woke up and whole world was naked, I’d fight it with every bone in my body until normality was resumed.

So that’s what I’d do. Make underwear out of leaves. The logical course of action.

The Friday Bonus Question:

Plucked from the basement of the internet, a bewildering real question that defies logic and an answer, here for you to ponder:

I’m addicted to smelling my own armpit. Can you help?

Ciao :)(:

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You can leave a comment and/or like this post below, or by clicking the little bubble on the top right if you are on the Archives Page. Likes and follows greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other two blogs:

The Indelible Life of Me
New Post Every Sunday
Click Here To Read The Latest Post

Hark Around the Words
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