Which Is Your Favourite Man-Made Wonder of the West Midlands?

Post 314

No readers, don’t go, please come back. Ah, well. Hardly my fault the West Midlands has a bad reputation as the dullest county of England. But come on. Isn’t that just a tired old stereotype? Is it really so bad? Well, I’ve never been there, but I’m sure it has something going for it. Erm. Er. Oh, heck. Erm. Ooh! I got a real good fact. The second city of the United Kingdom, Birmingham, our second largest city, has 22 more miles of canals than Venice. And yes, they’re both full of crap.

But The West Midlands has more than this. The first English bicycle was constructed there. Ozzy Osbourne was born there. The home of Cadbury’s HQ. The home of the crème de la crème of pathetic ‘60s architectural monstrosities that replaced beautiful Victorian architecture, all in the name of ‘progression’. Home to the world’s first indoor shopping centre. Where the first X-ray was taken. The home of the world’s second largest population of Rastafarians. The font we use on keyboards was invented there. Seriously. Honestly, who among you now doesn’t think The West Midlands is a smidge more interesting?

Out goes Hereford Cathedral. It’s a religious building. You know the score. I never choose places of worship, seen as favouritism because I am religious. So off it toodles. Ironbridge. A whole town. Nope. Not having that. As I’ve said before, they made The Pyramids of Giza a wonder, not Egypt. Same rules should apply, methinks. Dudley Caves. I’ve never been a huge fan of caves. These are man-made caves from mining, in case you’re wondering. And they have huge bats. Erm, no. Just, no. God, no. Monsal Head Viaduct is unbelievably gorgeous but I can hardly choose it since it’s disused and I think that takes some of the shine off it. I’ve never been a huge admirer of castles. I don’t really know why but they don’t capture me. For that reason, I’ll have to rule out Warwick Castle. And then there’s Foxton Locks. No, not a Victorian inventor, but a series of locks. I don’t enjoy water. I can’t swim and it makes me sick. Water is evil to me. So I don’t really care about canals.

This leaves me with Birmingham Botanical Gardens. It’s very pretty and in such a heavily industrial part of this country, it’s a pleasant escape. It opened in 1832, and it covers 15 acres. It contains many unusual birds and very old plants. A really pretty place. A beacon of loveliness.

Birmingham Botanical Gardens. My favourite man-made wonder of The West Midlands.

The Friday Bonus Question:

Plucked from the basement of the internet, a bewildering real question that defies logic and an answer, here for you to ponder:

How do I convince my wife to allow the maid to sleep between us at night?

Ciao :)(:

Photo: Birmingham Botanical Gardens

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The Indelible Life of Me
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