Would You Be an Astronaut?

Post 323

SEX! That got your attention. It’s often said that it would be impossible for astronauts to engage in coitus in space because they have very busy schedules and they only have a few minutes free each day. NASA used that logic to confirm that such a thing hasn’t happened in space. Well I must say, I’m quite impressed by how long they think the average man can last. But it’s more than that. How many astronaut couples exist? It’s very likely that the first ‘instance’ will be two astronauts who are already in relationships with non-astronauts. And that wouldn’t work. I mean, if you arrived home and said to your wife, “Oh, I want an open relationship, but it’s purely for science and I’m not at all attracted to this stranger”, I don’t think it would be particularly comforting to your wife. She may not even believe you. “Oh, science is it, now?” That will have to be one understanding girl. Mind you, at least if it doesn’t happen, it’ll enable an astronaut me to play online scrabble in peace and quiet.

I’ll never be fit enough to go into space, plus I get motion sickness. I get motion sickness during a strong breeze. And space shuttles travel at… ooh, my stars. 17,000 miles-per-hour. I know exactly what I’d be saying during that journey. “ARRRRRRRRRGH! ARRRRRRRRRGH! Ooh, that’s pretty. ARRRRRRRRRGH! ARRRRRRRRRGH!” On arrival at the International Space Station, I’d have to do science things. I’m not good at science. And then there’s the weightlessness. I’d just be constantly accidentally bouncing off the walls, and considering the walls are made of buttons, I’d probably activate the self-destruct. I would end up enjoying it, but only when the delirium of constant spinning makes me la-la. And there’s the food. The awful food. It’s dangerous work. Sleep would be a problem. I’d have to spend time with other people and God knows I hate that. And what about aliens? Honestly, I’m the last man you want with you in an alien invasion. I’d just give them what they want and flee in an escape pod, which I’d probably crash into The White House. There would be a huge crowd. Eagerly expecting me to announce I defeated the alien threat.

“People of Earth! You’re all screwed!”

So really, no, I don’t want to be an astronaut.

If anything, it’s better for humanity that way.

The Friday Bonus Question:

Plucked from the basement of the internet, a bewildering real question that defies logic and an answer, here for you to ponder:

My girlfriend is my boyfriend. Can you help?

Ciao :)(:

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You can leave a comment and/or like this post below, or by clicking the little bubble on the top right if you are on the Archives Page. Likes and follows greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other two blogs:

The Indelible Life of Me
New Post Every Sunday
Click Here To Read The Latest Post

Hark Around the Words
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