What Alternate Hairstyle Would You Choose?

Post 332

WHAT! What’s wrong with my hair? Why, why, why consider changing it? It’s highly illogical. Hair is hair. There’s no reason to change hair. It’s there to keep our heads warm here in chilly North England and to make you sweat in Sunny Cali. And sweating is very good for you. It’s why the British have tea in summer. What would my hairstyle be like if it wasn’t the long flowing luxurious locks it is now? TERRIBLE! Even the thought makes me weep. What hairstyle would I choose? Pah. Ridiculous. Who chooses these questions?

An afro would look ridiculous on me. The high and tight is a military haircut and I would say equally as ridiculous as the aforementioned afro, but the men with a high and tight cut have arms the size of my waist. I think it’s lovely. The haircut. Not, not – you know – their arms. Oh, boy. Ahem. Liberty spikes look dangerous. A bob looks weird, as if you’re wearing a wig on top of your normal hair. A rattail is quite stupid but many punks sport that style and I don’t want to piss them off, so I’ll leave that alone. Asymmetric cuts are just wrong. I like symmetrical hair. Unsymmetrical hair isn’t very logical. Braids don’t suit me, and I know that after a group of girls pinned me down and did one on me. Long, long, long, story. A hime cut is rather pretty but I don’t like having a fringe because it makes my forehead itch. The shag hairstyle. I can only presume that is wearing a rug on your head. Bowl cuts are cruel. Feathered hair looks, to use a British expression, like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. A Mohican haircut would suit the punk inside but I’d have to shave off my hair either side and I have a very funny shaped head. My geography teacher told me so one day after he stroked my head. Oh yes, it was a perfectly innocent thing to do back in those lovely old days. There’s a haircut called wings. I didn’t know that. I thought they were a band. The Beatles sported mop-tops. Bloody hippies. And Joe Cirello invented the duck’s arse haircut. I might be alone on this, but I don’t want a duck’s arse on my head.

So, what hairstyle would I choose? NONE – OF – THE – ABOVE! I LIKE MY HAIR! IT’S LONG AND LOVELY AND SOFT AND I LIKE THAT! IF I COULDN’T HAVE THE HAIRSTYLE I HAVE NOW, I MAY AS WELL BE DEAD! So no! I’m not engaging in this futile friendly family funny alternate hairstyle nonsense. I refuse.

I refuse, dagnabbit!

The Last Ever Friday Bonus Question:

Plucked from the basement of the internet, the last bewildering real question that defies logic and an answer, here for you to ponder forever more:

Can you tell me who I am?

Ciao :)(:


I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You can leave a comment and/or like this post below, or by clicking the little bubble on the top right if you are on the Archives Page. Likes and follows greatly appreciated. Thanks.


Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other two blogs:

The Indelible Life of Me
New Post Every Sunday
Click Here To Read The Latest Post

Hark Around the Words
New Posts Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday
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