EARS ARE FASCINATING! No, please, don’t go, no, readers, I beg – oh, damn. All gone. Ah, well, just me here now. Well, I don’t care if it’s just me. I’ll soldier on. I’ll talk to myself about the wonderful world of ears. Epictetus once said, ‘We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak’. Yes. Indeed. What? I thought that was interesting. I actually don’t know why we have two ears. Balance, maybe. Perhaps it would just look a tad weird only having one. Maybe one in the middle of the forehead was too ‘out there’. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s got something to do with binaural hearing, the direction of sound, wider range, better sound quality and the cushion that two ears have all been scientifically proven to provide. But I certainly prefer my ‘bit weird with one’ theory. The ear is the organ that detects sound but also aids in balance and body position. But there is more. They are organs of love, piercing and rage. Often all at the same time. Ahem. Paul Gauguin cut off Vincent van Gogh’s ear after a small tussle between the two men. Well, I say ‘small’. Van Gogh did come at Gauguin with a razor, but still, cutting off the poor man’s ear was a bit much. Never mind the fact van Gogh gave the severed organ to a local prostitute. He then went home for a bit of sleep. “WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH A BLOODY EAR! I WANTED MONEY, DAMMIT!” the prostitute later shouted. It woke van Gogh up. Anyone? COME ON! THAT WAS A GOOD JOKE! Ah, you blasted ingrates…
You know, one of the nerves that transmits taste signals to your brain goes through your ear, so if you have ear damage, you’re taste will be affected. Ah, now you’re getting the ear bug, remaining readers. Every year, you get a new ear canal. Author of Peter Pan, JM Barrie, often wowed audiences by his ability to wiggle his ears. And Asians and the indigenous peoples of the Americas have flaky dry earwax, whereas Caucasians and Africans have moist earwax. And yes, I’m confident that fact with come in handy one day, readers.
They are an erogenous zone, some people like a bit of ear loving. A crease in the lower half of the lobe indicates that the person has either heart disease or cardiovascular disease, unless you’re Indian or one of the indigenous peoples of the Americas. Couples often have the same ear lobe lengths and ear sizes, indicating there is a correlation between ears and the perfect partner. Earlobes not attached to the head, named free earlobes, something I don’t have, are twice as common as attached earlobes. Indeed, I also have Darwin’s tubercle, and no, that’s not some ancient contraption. It’s a ridge toward the top of the ear. Common in primates but largely non-present in humans. Only 10.4% of the world has it. So there’s something for you. Attached earlobes and a tubercle! Wowza!
And there’s more! World records! Matt Alaeddine is the heaviest man to touch his feet with his ears. At the time of the record, he weighed an incredible 438 pounds. Will H. has the most ear wiggles in 30 seconds. 89 times. And Petrus J. Has the most clothespins attached to one’s ears. 17! And yes, you really don’t want to Google that one…
I love ears! That’s how I feel about ears. They are fascinating! And I hope, after reading this post that you’ll agree with me on two things. One, ears are brilliant. And two, I am definitely not running out of questions. And now the post is over. You can come back now, departed readers. I’ve stopped talking about ears. This was fun. May do another.
OH, NO! WHERE ARE YOU GOING!
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