Baldness. The loss of hair from a region of the body, usually the head. The average human has 125,000 hairs on one’s head and loses 100 each day on average. Women often associate hair with femininity and attractiveness, whereas men often associate hair with youth and vigour. So then, losing said hair can be a tricky business. Psychologists say that it can leave one feeling isolated and with a sense of a loss of control. Those who are bald often feel as if their image is tarnished and worry about looking older or less attractive. The most common kind of baldness is male pattern baldness, making up 95% of all male hair loss. In America, 40 million men are bald and 25% start balding aged 30. There is a four in seven chance of receiving this gene that causes the hair follicles to deteriorate, become thin, and reduced to the infamous ‘peach fuzz’. Before it stops growing and dies. Baldness, then, sounds pretty darn depressing. But is it so?
People try so hard to ‘fix the problem’. The comb over, for example. The hilarious comb over, for example. Officially invented by Donald J. Smith and Frank J. Smith, who have a patent to prove it. They were even awarded an Ig Nobel Prize for their achievement. The wig or the toupée. There is a difference, and I’m not at all using Google to inform you of the difference. A toupée is used to cover a bald spot, whereas a wig is used to cover the entire head. A toupée is a small patch fixed to the head whereas a wig is like a hat. A hat is also another way to cover baldness, which was a brilliant segue, and did take me by surprise, somewhat. You also have hair transplantation. Of course, you could just lock yourself away never to be seen or heard of again. Not a bad option.
Despite countless studies that prove many bald men have low self-esteem, are shy, insecure and somewhat depressed, most studies suggest women just don’t care. A man who is proud of who he is, is far more attractive than hair. And there’s more. You save money on hair products. No time wasted on sprucing up your locks. No dandruff. You get to wear a hat, become something of a fashionista. And you can even grow a goatee and look like a supervillain. Pretty cool, huh?
I’ve never really thought about going bald but both my granddad’s went bald, my dad is somewhat bald, my brother is bald and he’s 39, and my other brother is bald and he’s only 37. I’m almost certainly going to lose some hair at some point, aren’t I? I currently have long hair, so when I go bald, I’m gonna look like Doc from Back to the Future. Nothing on the top, just a horseshoe and long, raggedy strands coming from it. It’s not the best look, is it? I see people like that all the time and they look like the type of people who spent the entire ‘80s high and going to Iron Maiden concerts. I’m not that cool but I love my hair too much to consider ever shaving it off. I can’t say for sure, but when the baldness arrives, I’m gonna look pretty weird. But I will not shave off my hair. I’ll embrace it. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. What else can you do? Life is a series of barriers. Of shit. And it’s your job to put a peg on your nose and some gloves on, and power through. Baldness will be one of those barriers. But on the other side is a world that doesn’t care about my baldness, and neither should I.
What are your thoughts about baldness and going bald, readers?
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