Space. The final frontier. Our mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilisations, to boldly go where no one has gone before. How does one ‘boldly go’? You don’t hear people talk like that nowadays. “I will boldly go to the shops!” “IT’S GO BOLDLY YOU HALFWIT!” It doesn’t sound right correct. And the implied sexism resulting in the change to ‘no one’ from ‘no man’ is a bit rich considering there were women on board and the show claimed to be a beacon of equality. They tried to argue it was short for human. But weren’t there aliens on board? And the final frontier? Well, how do we know there are no more frontiers to boldly go at? There may be a million and one other universes out there. It really has dated terribly. Of course, the show was set in the future, so it may yet mean we de-regress into a wonderful world of Shakespearean delight and split infinitives. Of course, some would argue this is all just a silly little slice of science-fiction and therefore it’s complete idiocy to argue over semantics, but these people are lemons. Of course, other people still, will not have a clue that I’m waffling on about Star Trek at all, to which my only reply is a quaint faint of Elizabethan proportions, with a high pitched ‘Oh my’ as I swoon.
Star Trek made a world of nerds dare to dream. That the intellectual could be off fighting, exploring strange new worlds, showcasing the best of humanity and making sweet love to a scantily clad green skinned Orion girl. It made geek chic. It showed us that anything was possible. That those of us with inhalers, eyeglasses and orthopaedic shoes could be the hero whilst the jocks rotted back on Earth in a sleazy strip joint. And whilst it isn’t real, the world of space is becoming an ever-present reality as one way journeys to the likes of Mars are approaching our doorstep at warp speed. I like Star Trek.
Mars One is aiming to send a group of humans to Mars in 2022. Over 100,000 people have already applied. There will be years of training, left in isolation, new skills to learn such as repair work and farming, and bodily woes to attend to. It’d be like a crap Rocky. Rocky 4 for example. Due to the psychical changes on the body, there is no coming back. You’ll leave behind your family. Your friends. Your loved ones. Your pet goldfish. It is cold and hostile. Like my underwear. The daily routine will be construction, rigorous exercise, maintenance, research – all in the most difficult place imaginable, in a climate of -58 Fahrenheit (-50 Celsius). They are looking for a person who has a ‘deep sense of purpose, willingness to build and maintain healthy relationships, the capacity for self-reflection and ability to trust’. One must be resilient, adaptable, curious, resourceful and creative. It is a challenge. A whole new colony of humanity. Imagine the accolades lain upon you in the pages of history. But also imagine this: how could you cope looking back at Earth every single day, knowing you would never step foot there ever again? I think I’d miss our little blue laundrette.
I’m not good with people. Or work. I love my family and I’ve done all I can in life, so far, to stay near them. I can’t really form any relationship, never mind a healthy one. And I’m not a man of challenge. I like status quo. The status quo, not the band, they’re awful. I don’t like change, I thrive on the same routine, day after day. And I keep going back to this point, but it’s the clincher for me. Not setting foot on Earth ever again. I just couldn’t do that.
It’s not for me, readers. But for those who go and never return, I respect them greatly, for boldly going where no one has gone before.
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