Ivan Chisov jumped from a plane at 23,000 feet. That’s just over four and a half miles up. He was a navigator, and in January 1942, German fighters attacked his bomber. In danger, he leapt from his plane, parachute on his back. Fearing he would be seen and subsequently shot down by the enemy, he deliberately did not deploy his parachute until he dropped out of sight of the enemy. Slight problem, erm, he lost consciousness before he deployed. He hit a snowy ravine at an estimated speed of between 120 to 150 miles-per-hour. He slid and rolled down the ravine. He was found rather quickly and rushed to hospital. He had suffered spinal injuries and a broken pelvis, but remarkably, he was alive. He was back flying again three months later. Now consider this. Toni Sadler holds a world record for skydiving. He became the youngest ever skydiver in a tandem jump. He was four. If you told his parents about Ivan Chisov, do you think they would’ve changed their mind on letting their precious little bundle of joy jump out of an aeroplane? Yes, me too. When humanity has reached the point where we are letting a four-year-old child do exactly what experienced navigator Chisov did, who lost consciousness doing it, I think we may have gone over some sort of line. Chisov is a great man because he proved one thing. That skydiving is utterly reckless. And he’s only the tip of an iceberg…
Skydiving is when one jumps out of a plane for no reason other than the thrill. It poses as much danger as smashing your head repeatedly with a hammer. And you wouldn’t do that, would you? It’s baffling. Why would you risk your life for something that isn’t important? The number of people hurt, dead, and looking ridiculous in tight Lycra, each year, is, quite literally, a few. For me, seeing someone jump out of a plane is a sight as ridiculous as seeing a hippy go to the barbers.
André-Jacques Garnerin invented the parachute. He died in what appears to be a Charlie Chaplin sketch. He was hit with a wooden beam, like in the silent movies. He was making a balloon at the time. He was 54. He gave the world something. Something that when you use it, ‘not dying’ is considered a good result. The number of people who pray to Jesus on the way up is even weirder. These aren’t the usual jumpers, who do not fear death, these are people who expect death! And if you are killed after an impact with a cow in a field, think about all those who have been affected. You’ve put your ‘thrills’ ahead your friends and family. Not to mention the likes of The United States Parachute Association. They must govern parachuting. Your hobby is forcing people to work in that incredibly dull job! Not to mention the poor cow you mangled!
What would be in my mind if I did a parachute jump? I’d be thinking of the 55 families without a loved one, the number of skydivers killed every year globally. I’d be thinking, ‘Oh no, what if I ‘fall off’ my tandem dude?’ I’d be worried about the weather and possible collisions. But most of all, I’d be worried about the sheer notion of how ridiculous it is. You’re doing something that is incredibly dangerous and does kill. I know 55 doesn’t sound like a lot, but it is to me. You shouldn’t do something that puts your life in danger. I simply cannot grasp the mentality or the logic behind something highly illogical.
Would I try skydiving? I would rather blowtorch by nipples off.
What are your thoughts on skydiving, readers?
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