If you have no idea what the question is referencing, It’s Raining Men is a popular song by The Weather Girls, released in 1982. The band, made up of Izora Armstead and Martha Wash, disbanded in 1985, but reformed in the 1990s with Armstead and her daughter Dynelle Rhodes. Armstead died in 2004 but the band lived on, with Rhodes and Ingrid Arthur releasing a new Weather Girls album in 2005. But to this day, their most enduring hit remains the raining of men. Most argue it’s a gay anthem, but others disagree and call it a female anthem. Others disagree on those two counts and argue it’s a dance anthem and nothing more. As for my own personal opinion, I can’t stand this song so I don’t give two hoots to who it’s directed toward. It’s a horrible objectification of men, isn’t it? ‘I’m going to get myself absolutely soaking wet’. That must be a euphemism, right?
It gets more and more stupid the more and more you listen to it. ‘Leave those umbrellas at home’. I’m pretty sure if a hoard of men started falling from the sky, you’d actually stay at home, rather than risk going outside to be crushed, without any kind of defence at all. Also, it implies that taking out an umbrella would somehow protect you from the horror. Not so sure about that one. ‘Rough and tough and strong and mean’. Well, for a start, they should’ve put some commas in there. Second, women don’t like mean men. It’s a common misconception. If you’re mean to a woman, she isn’t gonna like you for any great length of time. ‘God bless Mother Nature, she’s a single woman too’. How can they possibly prove that? I’d like some evidence. ‘She taught every angel to rearrange the sky, so that each and every woman could find her perfect guy’. That doesn’t even make sense. And ‘each and every woman’ on Earth is not straight, which the lyric implies. Talk about ‘gay anthem’. ‘Rip off the roof and stay in bed’. THAT’S YOUR ONLY PROTECTION! I know a handsome hunk falling on you from the heavens sounds romantic, but I’m pretty sure if that actually happened, you be quite dead.
‘According to all sources, the street’s the place to go’. What sources? What are they going on about? Is this some sort of ‘raining men weather alert’? Maybe it’s a Grindr style app. ’10 miles to the nearest hoard of raining men’. And what about the lyric ‘just about half-past ten’? How the hell could they possibly know to the exact minute when it’s gonna start raining men? If I knew that, I’d bloody well call MI5 and tell them to issue a national alert. ‘STAY INDOORS! Splattered men due across the United Kingdom! This is not a joke! You will be crushed! For the love of Jebus, STAY INDOORS!’
I’ve done some extensive research, for all of 15 minutes. Most women say the same sort of things. They’d put mattresses outside their homes and use a net to capture the best looking. One woman even said she’d go outside and lay on the ground. ‘At least I’d die happy.’ Of course, women are naturally caring, so many also said they’d help the men anyway they could. Ambulances, things like that. Some women were worried about the men denting their cars. It was a mixed bag of answers. But think about it. These men would die instantly. It would be carnage. And even the ones who landed on something soft and survived, they’d be in a terrible state of shock. They wouldn’t want to canoodle with a horny housewife. And if this actually happened, I might be one of those men. And that’s not good.
I’d pray for death so I wouldn’t become meat for a deranged madwoman…
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