What Are Your Thoughts on Marmite?

Post 505

Marmite. A sticky, dark brown food paste – by far the most divisive food in history. The proof is in their motto: ‘Love it or hate it’. That’s not a confident marketing team, is it? ‘Marmite’ has actually entered the British language as a metaphor for something that polarises opinion. And why the British language? Because Marmite, invented in 1902, is one of the most British foods imaginable. Invented by a German. But I wouldn’t say that aloud in the United Kingdom…

I loathe Marmite. And I’m not the only one. The ‘Hate Marmite Party’ group on Facebook has over 200,000 members, their aim being to ‘stop the spread of Marmite’. Ah, that’s a joke. Just got that…

I find it utterly bewildering why anyone would like it. But those people do exist. There’s a sculpture of a Marmite jar in Burton, in England, where the ‘food’ was first produced. The Rolling Stones, Dido and Britney Spears all have confessed to having a massive adoration of Marmite. And the late British celebrity Jade Goody was also a fan. She had flowers at her funeral in the shape of a jar of Marmite. Why? Because she compared herself to the stuff. I presume ‘love it or hate it’ and not ‘dark brown food paste’. But I’m just guessing here.

Marmite is pathetic. One really must question the sanity of such lunatics that profess to enjoy its sickly taste. Such weirdoes like that are the type of people who also probably revel in the misery of brown ketchup, Bovril, lager and being a nudist in Antarctica. Marmite is about as delicious as drinking 10-year-old milk through a severely used sock. It tastes like that mix of blood and vomit in your mouth after being beaten up and thrown out of a bordello on a Thursday night. It makes me feel like a vet alone on a farm on a Friday that cannot get her hand out of a cow’s bottom and has accepted the fact that she won’t get help until Monday. I hate Marmite that much, I really do.

Marmite divides the world. A recent survey found that 33% of British people hate the stuff and 33% loved it. The rest couldn’t care less. Yet global sales average £50 million a year. And I can’t figure out why. Marmite is an awful, vile disease that clearly will not be leaving us anytime soon. I’m sorry, but I just cannot understand why anyone would contemplate ingesting something that looks like what I imagine was left in the blender after Lynn Peltzer threw that gremlin in to it…

Marmite can go to hell for all I care.

But do you like Marmite, readers? I may regret asking that…

Ciao :)(:

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You can leave a comment and/or like this post below, or by clicking the title on the top of this post if you are on the archives page. Likes and follows greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other two blogs:

The Indelible Life of Me
New Post Every Sunday
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Hark Around the Words
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