Cats. Black and white felines that are often seen with overly jolly postmen. Often with overly jolly names such as Jess. I’d presume. I don’t know a lot about cats, to be honest. Small, furry, carnivorous mammals. How many breeds there are is quite a contentious issue. The IPCBA says there are 73. The TICA disagrees and says there are 56. The CFA recognises only 44. The rest of the world DOESN’T EVEN CARE! They’re cats! Four legs, whiskers, paws – who cares about the bleedin’ differences! Small furry household pets that spend every waking second scratching the hell outta you…
The pussycat is often a source of companionship for the lonely among us and they were revered in Ancient Egyptian times. Come to think of it, why don’t I have a cat? Probably because it would get up and leave me like everything else in life. Sniff.
A male cat is known as a tomcat, a female, a queen or a molly, a baby, a kitten or a catling, and a group a clowder or a glaring. Despite common belief, cats don’t always land on their feet. And yes, scientists have tested this from varying heights. I’d like to say no cats were harmed in the doing of those experiments, but they probably were. They also don’t have nine lives, but they can live a long one. A cat named Creme Puff lived to the grand old age of 38, dying in 2005. Her owner attributed this longevity to her diet, including bacon, supporting my theory that bacon should be one of our five a day. I know, it’s remarkable, isn’t it? Some nutcase named a cat ‘Creme Puff’…
Cats are amazing creatures. They can drink seawater, although they prefer toilet water. Plus, they have amazing hearing. They can hear dolphins. Whether they can communicate with them is another matter, but it’s sure fun to think about. And who invented the cat flap? One Isaac Newton, no less. His cat was named Spithead. Now that’s how you name a cat…
And they even make us better. Owners of cats are less likely to die of cardiovascular disease and have a reduced risk of a heart attack. They boost our immune system and decrease our chances of developing allergies. They reduce our blood pressure and lower our cholesterol. They cut our risk of getting a stroke by a third. They reduce stress and anxiety. They make us happier. And they increase our life expectancy. Plus, they have lovely personalities and they are wonderfully quirky. Some cats drink water by dipping their paws into the bowl and licking them. Aww…
Cats are also known for sleeping a lot. By the time a cat is nine, they’ve only been awake for three years of their lives. They also love their food. They cry when they’re hungry, usually between 300 and 600 hertz, the same as the cry of a newborn human baby.
I love cats. Why wouldn’t you? They’re cute and adorable. They make us better. They’re loving and kind. They offer great companionship, too. Actually, I might even get one, one day. And I never thought I’d say that at the beginning of this question.
I’d name her Rocket, by the way.
But what are your thoughts on cats, readers?
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