Would You Live Underwater?

Post 680

Underwater Wonder 1Underwater Wonder 2Under the sea. What better place to dwell than with the fishes? I must state, I’m not talking about ‘doing an Aquaman’, that is, actually living with the fishes. I mean, that can’t be good for one’s health, can it now? But what about my own deep sea super bubble? Right on the sea floor. A giant dome bachelor pad, complete with swinging sixties shag rug, velour dressing gowns, a heart shaped bed, plus that squishy fire that hangs down from the ceiling. I think the ladies would be well impressed with all that, I must say. Well, I mean, they would have to endure a 12-hour decompression chamber ride, but, still. That said, my promises of an underwater wonderland are a lot to handle. I’d have a lot to live up to. I’m not sure if I could handle the pressure. Ba-dum-tish. Alright, it was a long journey for a terrible punch line, let’s move on…

I think I’d rather enjoy the peace and quiet. I’m not really fond of people. Not, not the idea of people, you must understand. I mean, on the face of it, the idea of people seems sure swell. Sociable. Friendly. Kind. Warm. Generous. Intelligent. Equal. That’s what we’d tell an alien race, isn’t it? That that is what the human race is. Of course, our lies are entirely riding on the fervent hope that they can’t ‘read’ our internet because they’d be truly horrified and probably a bit hurt that we lied to them. And that would lead to some almighty probing. But people, as I’ve often found, aren’t those things. They’re mostly bastards. To me. So it would be nice to get away from them. To enjoy the peace and quiet. Ah, tranquillity. Utter bliss.

Some would say that one would miss running in the fresh air and the warmth of the Sun on one’s skin. Nope. I’m very pasty for a reason, and not just because I live in England. I never go outside. Well, if it can be avoided. And I don’t run. I’m out of breath after around seven yards. Any more, I need hospitable admission.

I also wouldn’t have to deal with the neighbours. No more stupid little boys throwing snowballs at my window! Hallelujah!

Of course, many would say that the pièce de résistance is the view. Yes. If what the view was, was a clownfish. If, however, the view were of a gigantic shark, one would crap oneself. Which, sure, is swell if one is on one’s toilet, but a literal pain in the arse if one is sitting down to watch one’s favourite film…

But, despite that, in general, I think it’s a good idea. Living all the way down there. Far away from people. No noisy neighbours. A really cool pad. What more could one ask for? I’d certainly jump at the chance.

But would you, readers?

Ciao :)(:

Images (Click on Them to Enlarge)
1 & 2) Two stills from The Simpsons episode ‘Future-Drama’, first broadcast on April 17, 2005 and written by Matt Selman – my inspiration for this post (credits: reddit.com/r/TheSimpsons & simpsonsworld.com)

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You can leave a comment and/or like this post below, or by clicking the title on the top of this post if you are on the ‘Archives’ page. Likes and follows greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other two blogs:

The Indelible Life of Me
New Post Every Saturday
Click Here to Read the Latest Post

Hark Around the Words
New Post Every Sunday
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