Grease. A musical. I’ve never seen Grease. Like most men, I hate musicals. They’re utterly pointless, aren’t they? Nobody in the real world suddenly breaks into song, do they? Plus, the songs are horribly contrived and incredibly cheesy. And the folks in them don’t look anything like your ordinary human. And the dancing? Oh, dancing! You know how much I hate dancing. “Oh, but Ally, it’s escapism.” Well, what I’d say to that is, why do you want to escape? Let’s discuss your problems like an adult, in a room lying on a sofa next to a kindly old bald man with a white beard, a tweed jacket and a notepad. And a pipe. People would start going to these people instead of musicals, effectively killing the musical industry. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? I should run the world…
Whilst Grease was first performed 45 years ago, it’s most known as a 1978 musical movie, featuring Sandy and Danny. Danny looks like no other guy on the planet. He’s an utter dick, by the way. He falls in love with Sandy, who looks like no other girl on the planet. She’s also a dick. The message of the movie is that girls should doll themselves up to appeal to the nearest bad boy and that that is the most important thing in life.
Throughout the entire movie, the bad boys treat all the girls like utter crap, but the girls are quick to forgive them because, hey, look how pretty they are! It’s a brutal, dark and miserable tale, one of disappointment, bitterness and hate. There’s also a teenage pregnancy in there, which hey, is clearly fine because no one seems to make a great deal of fuss about it. Plus, there’s smoking, drinking and violence. In the end, Sandy becomes a bad girl to impress the bad boy, the overarching message of the movie being that one must be bad to be happy in life.
What Sandy should’ve done is said to Danny, “I don’t care if you love me, you’re a mean, mean, mean jackass, you’re not good enough for anyone, and I can do better than you.” Thus giving off a much better message to young girls, but it’s 1978! Who cares about feminism!
One particular song in this horrible musical is simply titled ‘Grease’. ‘There aint no danger, we can go too far’ is the first line that irks me. If there aint no danger, why can you go too far? ‘We can be who we are.’ No, you can’t. Follow society’s rules. They exist for a reason. To maintain law and order. Dun, dun. Couldn’t resist. You can be who you are within reason. ‘They think our love is a growing pain, why can’t they understand? It’s just a crying shame.’ You’re a youth! Nothing you feel is real! The world is against you, boo-hoo, deal with it. ‘Only real is real.’ Well, there’s the proof they’re young. They’re completely stupid.
‘This is a life of illusion.’ I think they’re on drugs. ‘Mixed with confusion – what are we doing here?’ Yup. Certainly on drugs. ‘There’s a chance we can make it so far.’ Oh, God. That’s what a bank robber says. Don’t believe a guy who tells you that. ‘Grease is the word.’ Yeah, rightio. Maybe lay off the weed for a little while…
Is grease the word? God no. Grease is nothing but a lowly and downtrodden tale of two young idiots throwing their lives away in the name of a tainted love. A false love that, in the real world, would’ve ended in overdose and suicide.
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