What Are Your Thoughts on Pineapples?

Post 725

PineappleI have a horrible confession, reader-pops. I’ve never eaten a pineapple. The thing is, I’ve ordered many a meal in many a restaurant the world over that had pineapple as part of the meal, but no pineapple has ever come. And I don’t know why! It’s like some global conspiracy to stop me eating a pineapple. I’m beginning to wonder if there’s something about pineapples that I’m not supposed to know. That or it’s just shoddy waiting. Now, you may say, “Can’t you just buy one?” Yes. But I’m quite looking forward to the day a restaurant actually gives me one. It’s a moment I’ve been waiting for and gosh darn it, I want that moment! I’m easily amused…

The humble pineapple. A tropical plant that can be eaten fresh or cooked. I think you can juice one, too. The English language is unique in that we named pineapples as such. Most countries use some form of the scientific name, Ananas comosus. In the olden days, we named the reproductive organs of conifer trees ‘pineapples’, but they’re now known as ‘pinecones’. When European explorers found the pineapple fruit in the Americas, they named them after the pinecone because they looked like one. Of course, this meant that we needed a new name for the pineapples, hence why they became pinecones. Are you following all this? I became lost some time ago…

Soon after this magical fruit was discovered, it became associated with ships returning from extended voyages. An emblem of welcome and hospitality. A little known fact is that wine is made from pineapples in Maui. In fact, Hawaii has a strong love of the pineapple. In the olden days, Hawaiians often referred to drizzle on a sunny day as ‘pineapple juice’.

I’d normally harp on about how unhealthy fruit is to prove my bacon only diet is a good idea, but nope, pineapples are quite good for you. They contain bromelain, an anti-inflammatory, muscle relaxant and digestive aid. Pineapples may even help to prevent cancer, although studies are still in their early stages. They also contain half the recommended daily dose of Vitamin C, plus manganese, which helps with bone strength. Pineapples can even help our eyes by reducing the risk of macular degeneration. Certainly more effective than bloody godforsaken carrots…

Almost everybody on Earth believes that carrots make our ‘intimate bodily secretions’, of both genders, if you know what I mean, taste sweet and lovely. But nope, not a single scientific study worth its salt has proved this. It is nonsense. Still, I imagine those studies were huge fun to participate in…

It’s not all good. Yes, I’m reverting to type. Unripe pineapples are hugely poisonous. Consumption of such will cause irritation of the throat and act as a far too effective laxative. Despite this, people still love them. One such person, Christine McCallum, of Australia, grew the world’s largest pineapple in 2011, measuring 12.5 inches long, with a two-foot girth and weighing an incredible 18 pounds. She looks delighted in the photos I’ve seen. Only in Australia…

What are my thoughts on pineapples? Erm, yeah, they’re alright. I can’t possibly comment on the taste, but they’re certainly of significant benefit to us old humans.

Although please remember, they do not make anything taste sweeter…

Ciao :)(:


Image (Click on It to Enlarge)
1) A delighted Christine McCallum and her giant pineapple
(credit: dailytelegraph.com.au/northern-territory-grows-what-may-be-the-worlds-biggest-pineapple/story-e6freuy9-1226210193806)


I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You can leave a comment and/or like this post below, or by clicking the title on the top of this post if you are on the ‘Archives’ page. Likes and follows greatly appreciated. Thanks.


Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other blog:

The Indelible Life of Me
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