It’s an odd phrase is this, isn’t it? I often wonder who the first person to utter it was. I imagine it went down well though, because it makes no sense. At all. I mean, none whatsoever. It is without logic or reason. At least on the face of it. It does make me wonder if it was the work of some Victorian stand up comedian. Well, I presume they had stand up comedians. Comedy was probably a lot easier in the olden days. I mean, the material was fresher for a start…
Would you forget your head if it wasn’t screwed on? This refers to someone who is prone to mislaying things. You may have heard of it. Maybe not. Perhaps one of its variations. We also have ‘if it wasn’t stuck on’, ‘if it wasn’t tied on’, ‘if it wasn’t glued on’, and ‘it it wasn’t attached’. Of course, I’m incredibly anal. Most of these bother me. Our heads aren’t screwed on like an old time lightbulb. They certainly aren’t glued or stuck on. And I don’t know how a head would be ‘tied’ on. Of course, if one’s head wasn’t attached, it is a bit confusing as to how one could ‘forget’ one’s head, because that would assume the body had a degree of self-awareness, and, obviously, you’d be a bit dead without your head. Others would argue I’m being far too pedantic and they would say that it’s just a phrase, but ah, I happen to disagree. Without the pedants, where would the human race be? We’d be long extinct by now. You’re welcome, Earth.
People on the internet tend to agree with this phrase. ‘I would absolutely forget it because I am a very forgetful person… sometimes that gets me in trouble. But I also wouldn’t because your head is a serious matter.’ I imagine a child wrote that. Are heads serious matters? Hmm. Someone else said, ‘Yes, I almost forgot it when I was going to school [on] Friday.’ Uh-huh.
It’s easy to forget things, isn’t it? That’s the way life is. Items to pick up at the shops. Appointments to remember. Deadlines to stick to. Work to do and the associated things around that. Things to organise. I mean, I write myself notes all the times, which, yes, is the work of a crazy person. At my age, at least. But I’m awfully forgetful. I think I would forget my head if it wasn’t attached. Or glued on. Or… tied on. Tied on? Really? Oh, I just don’t get that one.
So yes, I think I would forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on.
But would you, readers?
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