What If Earth Had No Tilt?

Post 737

Little do people know, but the Earth is a little tipsy. It’s a funny old ball of rock. It wobbles off centre like a drunken uncle at your wedding reception that you didn’t invite but showed up anyway. What? Just me? Oh. Well, yes, anyway, many have wondered just what our fragile blue lump would look like and be like if it was… straight. Would we be okay? Or would we be quite dead? Admittedly, when I say ‘many’ have wondered this, I’m probably the only one, but I shall endeavour to make you interested too… oh, you’ve already gone. Ah, well, I guess I’ll be left talking to myself tonight. Again. Sniff…

So why does Earth wobble off centre? Well, it didn’t always. No, a while back – I think that’s a technical term – a huge rock the size of Mars hit the Earth. The resulting collision caused much of the Earth to break away and reform as the Moon. A bit like when R.E.M. went mental and reformed as ‘Hindu Love Gods’ with a different lead singer before reverting to normality. But don’t worry. We shouldn’t be hit by another Mars sized object. Well, I mean, Andromeda is heading right for us, but we’ll be dead by the time it hits…

When the dust had settled, the Earth was a bit wonky. It had a 23.5 degree tilt. Thus meaning it wobbles, orbiting the Sub on a slant, thus we have seasons. Without our tilt, our seasons would be different. This would be a disaster. A bit like that time I went to kick a puddle and slipped over. Days and nights would be of equal length. We’d be living 12 hour days of eternal spring. Which, sure, is swell if your spring is all warm and fuzzy, but a colossal pain in the arse if your spring is all wet and miserable.

It’s not all candy and roses for those of us in the northern hemisphere. Pathogens that thrive in humid climates would start to thrive in the northern hemisphere, because it would be constantly toasty and the clever pathogens would soon realise that and start kicking the shit out of us. We’d die in our millions in a short space of time. Survivors would scatter like ashes, living in smaller settlements, scrounging for a living, a Mad Max world without the super awesome visual effects. Which is a shame, really. I’d love one of those cars…

This northern hemisphere would become a tropical zone, covered in vast swathes of rain forests. The unrelenting rainfall would erode soil in areas cleared for farming, leaving land infertile for just about anything that humans could eat. Crops couldn’t survive, meaning entire populations would migrate to areas that are more habitable. Even then, it would be tough. Modern civilisation as we know it would collapse and rebuild in much simpler form. People in the northern hemisphere would die of starvation, people in the southern hemisphere would die of the cold. If shit really hit the fan, the human race would be extinct within a century.

But don’t worry readers. A Mars sized object isn’t due to hit us any time soon, and sure, the Andromeda galaxy, which will his us, is bigger than Mars, but we’ll be long dead by that point. Actually, now I think about it, the Earth’s tilt being corrected by a Mars sized object hitting us would probably be the least of our problems in that situation…

What if Earth had no tilt? What if it suddenly vanished? Well, we’d be well and truly screwed.

And not in a fun way…

Ciao :)(:

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Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other blog:

The Indelible Life of Me
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