It declared independence on September 21st, 1981. The same week Serena Williams was born and the black-footed ferret was rediscovered. Ooh. One urban legend here tells of a trouble-making dwarf named Tata Duende. He is missing both his thumbs, wears a tall, pointy hat, and lures poorly behaved children into the jungle, never to be seen again. It is in those very jungles where you will find the world’s only jaguar nature preserve and the Howler Monkeys, one of the 10 loudest animals in the world. Poor children. This country has 900 Maya temples. But you will not find a single Burger King, KFC, McDonald’s or Starbucks. Thank God. Where you will find places named the Hummingbird Highway, False Vampire Bat, Bullet Tree Road, Coral Eyes Butterfly, the Lady-of-the-Night Orchid, Laughing Bird Caye, the Peanut-Head Lantern Bug, and Old Moon Monkey. And it’s where you’ll find the legend of Lang Bobi Suzi from the Kriol folklore. According to the legend, Bobi Suzi is a female monster who whips naughty children with her giant breasts if they refuse to do her bidding. Gee, you say that like it’s a bad thing. Today, we’re visiting The Jewel in the Heart of Caribbean Basin, Belize.
The Jewel of Bel Itza
Belize [bel-leaze] is a Caribbean country located on the coast of northeast Central America. It is bordered by Guatemala and Mexico, plus the Caribbean Sea. It is the 147th largest country on Earth at 8,867 square miles or 22,966 square kilometres, between Djibouti and El Salvador, with the 168th largest population with 430,191 people, between Malta and Brunei. The motto of this place is, ‘Sub umbra floreo’, which is Latin for, ‘Under the shade, I flourish’. You know, I’m often critical of mottos. That one is awesome. Although it suggests that Belizeans would not flourish in light, indicating they’re all vampires…
The earliest record of the name ‘Belize’ comes from 1677. Dominican priest Fray José Delgado recorded the names of three major rivers that he crossed while travelling north, one being ‘Rio Balis’… which became ‘Belize’. Many believe this comes from the Mayan word ‘belix’ meaning ‘muddy-watered’. More recently, it has been proposed that the name comes from the Mayan phrase ‘bel Itza’, meaning ‘the road to Itza’, ruins of a Mayan temple. Few knew the way to Itza. But I can confirm that at the end of the road, sweet Marie is waiting.
In the 1820s, the Creole elite invented the legend that the name ‘Belize’ came from a Scottish buccaneer, Peter Wallace, who established a settlement at the mouth of the Belize River. Sadly, there is no proof buccaneers ever settled here and Peter Wallace is also probably a myth. A ‘buccaneer’ is a type of pirate. Although Peter Wallace was Scottish.
So he was just ‘Scottish’ then…
The Enchanting Beauty of the Maya Paradise
Belize is a tiny country and mainly flat. It’s the Kentucky of South America. On the coast are swampy areas dominated by mangrove swamps, while in the south and interior you will find hills and low mountains. Most of Belize is undeveloped and heavily forested. The infrastructure here is… well, let’s say… a work in progress…
One of the biggest reasons tourists visit Belize is the outstanding natural beauty. Belize is home to the world’s second-largest barrier reef… for now. It is the largest in the northern hemisphere. It is home to 400 species of fish and 200 tiny islands. It is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. That’s nice. I bet that will save it, no problem.
Belize is a gorgeous country rich in unspoiled natural beauty, ancient historic sites and many tropical islands. It is an enchanting slice of South America. It is the only nation in the region with a British colonial heritage. Erm… sorry about that. The Spanish conquistadors originally explored Belize and claimed it for Spain, but due to a lack of resources, they gave it to the British. They declared the country as a British colony in 1854 and named it, ‘British Honduras’. Don’t worry, the British saw the error of their ways, you know, taking the land from its indigenous people. They granted Belize its independence just a short 110 years later in 1964. Its name changed in 1973 but border disputes with Guatemala and the UK delayed Belize’s independence until 1981. To this day, Belize remains a Commonwealth nation.
Thing is, though, many people avoid Belize because it has a certain reputation that infects many South American countries. The top three sources of revenue in the country are agriculture, tourism and… cocaine. So it’s a bit like Kent…
The Royal Rats of Caribbean Delight
Even though Belize is riddled with South American cartels, tourists should be fine to enjoy this slice of the Caribbean on the Central American mainland. It does not feel like a Latin country but far more like a Caribbean country, with all that comes with being a Caribbean country, from the rich festivals to the great food. Like Royal Rat. It’s a rodent dish named gibnut, a Belizean delicacy. It is named ‘Royal Rat’ because it was fed to Queen Elizabeth. That’s how I read that sentence online. It makes it sound like she didn’t know what it was. You don’t want to look at it before it’s been cooked. Jesus, it’s so cute! It’s as if Australia’s fast-food chain ‘Koala Burger’ was literal.
Don’t worry, though. If adorable animals aren’t to your liking, Belize is one of the world’s greatest chocolate makers. This comes from the ancient Mayans who used chocolate in many of their rituals. I’m not sure how I’d feel about that if I was about to be sacrificed by the Mayans, a distinct possibility as I’m still a virgin. YOU WILL BURN! Oh, no!
Don’t worry! Here, have some chocolate…
The Breathtaking Allure of a Misunderstood Land
Belize is the only Central American country where English is the official language, although most Belizeans speak multiple languages. This will come in handy because Belize is cocaine country. Poverty and bad roads permeate this land. Violent crimes do occur in the major cities so tourists are advised to spend their time here in the smaller towns where you will be perfectly fine and you will be left alone. It’s also important not to go into the jungles alone. A guide is a must. They will be armed and know where you can and cannot go. Such as the gibnut habitats. Oh jeez, they’re so frickin’ cute!
I wonder if the Queen knew. Oh, this? Erm… pork? Yes. Pork. You should not be scared to visit Belize. Violent crime only exists in the major cities, but unlike most other countries, the best places to visit here are the smaller towns. You just have to remember the advice you’re given. You’ll have to put up with the roads. Poverty, such as rundown homes and buildings, are rampant. And you can’t drink the water. Bottled water is a must. And if you ever eat something that didn’t come from a tourist restaurant, you will get the runs. Badly. Ironically, drugs are hard to find in Belize so take as many as you can without upsetting customs. Over-the-counter medication and antibiotics are practically impossible to find outside of the major cities. Healthcare is also hard to find so ensure you have some damn good health insurance, one that includes evacuation from the country.
Most tourists will never be affected by the problems Belize faces and it is unlikely you will be targeted by the cartels. The people are so friendly and so kind. The landscapes are breathtaking. The history is unique. The spirit of adventure is so alluring. No one ever comes here so there are never any crowds. All this makes up for the shortcomings Belize endures.
Just maybe don’t bring your children. Nobody wants to deal with a baby with dysentery in a country with no pharmacies…
The Liberal Charms of a Genuine Community
Belizeans are liberal people. Marijuana was recently legalised. If you’re wondering how much you can have, it’s roughly 5.6 drachms. For my metric cousins, that’s half the weight of a mouse. What a night in that is. What did you do on Friday night, man? Ah, me? I smoked half the weight of a mouse…
Belizeans are among the most relaxed people on Earth, especially the farther you venture away from the tourist resorts. The pace of life is glacial here. Good manners are to introduce yourself to people with eye contact and a genuine, pleasant greeting. Belizeans are chatty people so you could find yourself immersed in a conversation with a local for a few hours. Maya communities are more reserved and a little respect and politeness go a long way. This place is charming.
Belize is a religious country, so visitors need to be mindful that opinions and ideas which are inconsistent with religious organisations may offend. The Creole and Garifuna societies are rooted in mysticism and have many superstitious beliefs. For example, one must stay out of the ocean, lakes and rivers on Good Friday to avoid bad luck. Sunday is a day of relaxation so plan your trip around Sundays. You will get nothing done on a Sunday because literally everything is closed. Hang out at the beach. Or go and rescue some gibnuts.
It is also important to remember never to greet a Belizean by their first name, generally address them as they asked to be addressed. Belize is universally known as having a welcoming population who are renowned for their amiability and hospitality. Just remember one thing: haggling is uncommon. Belizeans consider it rude.
This is worth remembering if you’re British who seemingly do nothing BUT haggle…
The Wonders
There are wonders to see such as the exquisitely graceful Cockscomb Basin Forest Reserve, where you will find those jaguars, and Butterfly Falls, the best waterfall in a country that has thousands, most, like this, hidden. It is incredible. A charming and dazzling slice of a tropical jungle few would believe is real. But there it is. Unfathomable majesty.
Then there’s Xunantunich, an ancient and rewarding Maya historic site, one that is thousands of years old, by some counts, over 3,000. It still stands and is so moving, so resplendent. It connects you to the Maya in a way that is quite impossible.
And then there’s the natural wonder of the Toledo district. It is far away from where the tourists ever venture, but there is within Toledo a vast soup of diverse landscapes. It is Central America. Gorgeous green oases with pockets of untamed glory.
But my favourite wonder of Belize is the Bladen Nature Reserve, a vast landscape of caves, sinkholes, pristine waters, undisturbed rainforest and diverse flora and fauna, including many rare species. It is a beautiful, mystical place. This entire landscape radiates a breathtaking and magical aura. It is so enchanting. It is so utterly flawless.
Belize. The country of ancient traditions, beautiful scenery and adorable rodent food.
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Image Credits
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bladen_Nature_Reserve, https://chabilmarvillas.com/toledo-belize.html, https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Xunantunich_(High_Quality).jpg, https://lemarsh.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/438-butterfly-falls-belize/, https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cockscomb_Basin_Wildlife_Sanctuary_14.JPG
Post Sources
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belize, https://chabilmarvillas.com/20-amazing-facts-about-belize.html, https://www.dangerous-business.com/the-truth-about-belize/, https://reefci.com/2013/07/24/10-interesting-and-quirky-facts-about-belize/, https://wikitravel.org/en/Belize, https://www.larubeya.com/10-interesting-facts-about-belize/, https://www.greatvaluevacations.com/travel-inspiration/fun-facts-about-belize, https://www.pelicanreefvillas.com/blog/50-interesting-facts-about-belize/, https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/fun-facts-about-belize.html
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