If you thought I was the last virgin, you’re dead wrong. Well, no, actually, you’re quite right. Very right. Extremely right. Worryingly right. Sadly, they have yet to name an island after me, not unless I travel back in time and become Christopher Columbus and name these islands after myself. Paradox-schmaradox. In 1944, America bought the imaginatively named Water Island, which became a part of today’s spotlight in 1996. And so the locals, not really liking that terrible name, renamed it ‘The Last Virgin’. That is not a label you want. Take that from me. The actual last virgin. Probably. Hmm. Today we’re visiting Santa Úrsula, the US Virgin Islands.
The Tale of the Glowing Virgins
Pantomime villain Christopher Columbus set out in search of the New World, only to find people living there. But don’t worry about them! We got rid of all the pesky natives. And their island names, too. It’s not like the Caribs didn’t try to repel. They booed and hissed when Columbus showed up on the Virgin Islands, which is funny. I have no idea why the Caribs reacted like that to an armada armed with guns and cannons.
What an odd reaction.
As Columbus sailed away with hurt feelings, rightfully so, I may add, he gazed back at the beautiful Virgin Islands and thought, ‘Hey! They remind me of virgins!’ And I don’t know why. As a virgin, I am not that pretty. Hence the virgin bit.
And so poor Columbus named the islands after Santa Úrsula. You see, she had 11,000 followers. Who were all virgins. Yeah, I’m sure they had other qualities, but when you’re a virgin, that’s the main thing people focus on for some reason…
Columbus named the islands, ‘Santa Úrsula y las Once Mil Vírgenes’. He didn’t care what the native name was so we don’t really know what that was, but I’m sure it was terrible. You know, like… France.
As the Europeans came and went, they shorted the island’s name to ‘Vírgenes’ and then just ‘Virgin’. Which, apparently, was quite a neat thing to be in those days. Not nowadays, though. Oh no, 33-year-old virgins who live with their mams are seen as pathetic these days, apparently…
I could tell you the motto of the US Virgin Islands is ‘United in Pride and Hope’, but that’s utterly sickening, so I won’t.
But where is this place? Ah, I’m glad you asked. The United States Virgin Islands, officially the Virgin Islands of the United States, is a group of 50 Caribbean islands, an unincorporated and organised territory of America.
They’re quite near the British Virgin Islands, so I hear…
The US Virgin Islands have a population of 100,641 people living in an area of 133.73 square miles or 346.36 square kilometres. You might think of this place as the four main islands: St Thomas, St John, St Croix and Water Island, but there are more than 50 inlets, islands and cays. And they’re all super pretty. Like virgins!
St Thomas and St John are very rugged, but St Croix’s mountains are contained to the north of the island, with a large plain to the south. You’ll find seaside cliffs, mountains with lush forests, tiny streams and gorgeous white sand beaches. All the islands are surrounded by coral reefs, which I’m confident will always be there…
The US Virgin Islands also has two bioluminescent bays, the best spot on Earth to have a romantic walk by a sea filled with glowing algae. It’s not so great, however, if you like you have a midnight ramble to walk off a migraine.
“ARRGH! THE LIGHTS! THERE ARE SO MANY LIGHTS! MY EYES!”
The Precious Gold Virgin
In the early days of the US Virgin Islands, pirates roamed the land. But it wasn’t as fun as it sounds. If indeed it sounds fun to you. The governors were corrupt, you see. Pirates gave them loot in exchange for safe haven and you what, I think if I were a governor, I would too. I do love my loot.
Why do pirates have such cool names? Pirates who found a safe haven here included Bartholomew Sharps, Black Sam Bellamy, Captain Kidd, Stede Bonnet, Tempest Rogers and… Jean Hamlin. Okay, that last one sucks…
There was also a pirate named Norman. He named one of the 50 islands after himself and, remarkably, it’s STILL named that! “Hey kids, we’re going on holiday!” “Where to, dad?” “NORMAN!” Flipping ‘eck.
Norman Island is the setting for Robert Louis Stevenson’s ‘Treasure Island’, don’t you know. Hence why there’s a nearby island named ‘Stevenson’s Dead Chest Island’. Cool beans. But in 1666, the worst pirates of them all showed up.
THE DANES!
They settled the US Virgin Islands in 1666, founding the capital city, Charlotte Amalie. The first thing the Danes did was build as many taverns as humanly possible. Hence the original name for the city, Tap House. That is true, by the way…
Charlotte Amalie is where you’ll find Blackbeard’s Castle. But Blackbeard never visited the US Virgin Islands. It’s just that the current administrators don’t tell tourists that, otherwise the gift shop might go bankrupt.
So the Danes settled St Thomas. Then St John in the 1680s. And then they bought St Croix in 1733. And it became the Danish West Indies. As you can imagine, many people were enslaved here. It would take a century for slavery to be outlawed.
The islands remained under Danish rule until 1917 when America purchased them for $25 million in gold. They wanted the islands as a military outpost during World War I. Germany, you see, also wanted them and that wouldn’t have been great…
But the residents were not happy. You see, America didn’t grant the citizens of the US Virgin Islands citizenship. They also didn’t like that they didn’t really have a say in who ran their islands. This is shocking to me as America ALWAYS takes care of its overseas territories.
Cough, Puerto Rico, cough…
These Three Kings of Jumbies Are
The US Virgin Islands are a curious mix of Caribbean and American culture. You’ll find fast food restaurants such as McDonalds and Subway sitting alongside traditional local restaurants. Large supermarkets sell American foods while out the front, a local will sell fish fresh from the back of his cart.
On the radio, you’ll hear calypso music followed by an American pop ballad. Western dress and sports are common, while the major television news station is CNN. But local news radio is just as popular. These things are what make the US Virgin Islands a fascinating place and also a frustrating place to find authentic local culture.
But not if you know where to look…
Common local foods include kallaloo, a gumbo-like dish that purportedly offers those who eat it good luck in love. And I have to agree. When I think of soupy stew fermented in salted meat and spinach, I think of love, too…
Meanwhile, common local traditions include Transfer Day, when locals celebrate their transfer from Danish to American control. They eat red grout on this day, not actual grout, I must stress. It’s a pudding made from guavas and tapioca.
God, I think actual grout would taste nicer…
They also celebrate Three Kings’ Day, here. Every January 6th, Christian Virgin Islanders commemorate the Three Wise Men’s visit to Baby Jesus. Even if you don’t attend church, you are encouraged to have a feast with your family and encourage the kids to leave grass in a shoebox beneath their beds.
According to legend, during the night, the Three Wise Men will swap the grass for presents and gardeners across the islands will shout:
“OH DEAR GOD! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BALD PATCHES!”
Music and dance are important aspects of the US Virgin Islands culture. Besides listening to calypso, reggae and steel pan bands, the locals also enjoy Quelbe. This traditional music and dance style blends the beats of the songs of the enslaved from long ago, with Caribbean folk melodies.
To make Quelbe, local bands use instruments made from whatever they can get hold of, from dried squashes to discarded car parts. I’d love that. I’m great at making noises. My favourite is crying into a pillow…
Most islanders are of African and European descent. The Caribbean oral tradition is alive and well here, first established by enslaved Africans who were prohibited from learning to read and write by their enslavers. Many people of the islands tell stories that pay homage to the beliefs and superstitions of their ancestors.
Traditional stories often involve ‘jumbies’, the spirits of the deceased, and are used as cautionary tales for overly-curious children or as a way to explain unfortunate events. During carnival, Mocko Jumbies (people on stilts) walk in parades wearing colourful costumes.
That’s a good name for a kid, that. Hi, this is my son, Mocko Jumbie…
One other thing to remember about the US Virgin Islands. Unlike the rest of America, they drive on the correct side of the road. The left.
You’re welcome.
The Wonders
There are wonders to see such as the hustle and bustle of the canny jewel of St Thomas. And then there’s Jack and Isaac Bay Preserve on St Croix. This is delightful. So few people ever venture this far out and, as such, you’ll likely have it all to yourself. Yes, it is a bit of a trek but the rewards are magnificent. A little cove all to yourself to kick back, relax and stare out onto the forever.
Then there’s Jost Van Dyke, one of the smaller islands. It is wonderful, like a breath of fresh air rising triumphantly from the sparkling clear water below. Yes, there are many tourists here but it still feels ever so divine. This really is a landscape that defies belief.
And then there’s the Virgin Islands Nation Park on St John. The wild and rugged landscape speaks of splendid isolation, while the clear turquoise waters shimmer resplendently under the burning Sun. This place feels like an adventure unto itself. A vast place just waiting to be explored…
But my favourite wonder of the US Virgin Islands is St John itself. This beautiful green oasis is stunning, the cascading forests tumbling to the ocean as some kind of untamed wilderness yearning to break free. Small pockets of civilisation emerge from the canopy but largely this untouched gem exudes all the joy of a paradise on Earth. This is why these islands are so popular with tourists. It is utterly majestic.
The US Virgin Islands. The islands of jumbies, treasure and virgins.
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Image Credits
https://www.uncommoncaribbean.com/st-john/, https://travel.usnews.com/US_Virgin_Islands/Things_To_Do/Virgin_Islands_National_Park_St_John_60403/, https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g580449-d148830-Reviews-White_Bay-Jost_Van_Dyke_British_Virgin_Islands.html, https://www.expedia.co.uk/St-Thomas.dx6140138
Post Sources
https://www.vinow.com/general_usvi/geography/, https://vacationvi.com/10-surprising-facts-about-the-usvi-that-you-didnt-know/, https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/87959/13-incredible-facts-about-us-virgin-islands-100-years-ago, https://www.vinow.com/general_usvi/culture/, https://travellemming.com/us-virgin-islands-facts/#:~:text=Christopher%20Columbus%20called%20the%20Virgin,shortened%20to%20the%20Virgin%20Islands., https://www.packslight.com/7-u-s-virgin-islands-facts-you-never-knew/, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Virgin_Islands, https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/87696/6-us-virgin-islands-traditions-youll-want-adopt, https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/87588/15-things-you-might-not-know-about-us-virgin-islands
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