What Is the Best Non-Swear Swearword?

One man’s obscenity is another man’s name.
Take that from Roger F***-bythenavele,
Who was a real person in the medieval game.
An ancient joke? What in tarnation!
That poor man.
Useless at copulation.
But his name is a real swear – so absurd!
And swears are nasty, you see.
So what is the best non-swear swearword?

Profanity is a simple thing.
Cursing, cussing and swearing.
All words for the same bad language fling.
Expletives, foul words, obscenity.
A vulgar use of our language.
But a part of our identity.
What can we say instead of being a foul-mouthed swan?
Christ on a bike?
Damn you to hell, and the horse you rode in on!

Poo?
What? Don’t judge me.
Oh, fiddlesticks! It’s useful, not blue!
Blimey? Bananas? And barnacles, too.
All great non-swear swearwords.
“Good heavens!” you spew.
What a load of balderdash is this!
Dagnabbit. Fudge. And shoot.
I lay down diss from my non-swear mouth of trash…

“Great Ceasar’s ghost!”
I shout in your face.
Son of a gun. Jeez. Darn it all, I boast.
Flipping ‘eck. I roar.
What a git you are.
Shut the front door!
It’s a load of old cobblers as these non-swears comes.
Bless your heart. Sugar and drat.
Oh, bums.

There are too many non-swears in my stash!
Bloody Nora! Smeghead! Bugger!
Oh, sufferin’ succotash!
But such arsenals are important, you see.
I can say ‘son of a biscuit’.
And no one will find offence, except me.
‘Cheese and crackers’, say non-swear creators.
Tits and arse.
Sod off to the haters.

I can swear without swearing,
Heavens to Betsy!
I’ve never been so daring.
Do you know what spoils the broth? Too many cooks.
Gordon Bennet, I say.
And gadzooks.
Hell’s bells and buckets of blood.
Crikey! Feck! Great Scott!
To that, I say ‘coconuts’, and the door I slam with a thud.

I swear without swearing… nice and slowly.
With all due respect.
That’s a British one, like ‘bloody hell’ and ‘holy guacamole’.
My diss track has left you in such a state.
Balls, farts and Tinker’s bells.
Oh, great.

But of all the non-swear swears, which is best flung?
Why that answer is easy! This word is Yiddish.
That word is ‘verkakte’ – use it to save your tongue…

Ciao :)(:

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Post 1,876: But what’s your favourite non-swear swearword, reader?

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